Wedding Disasters – Metamucil and world’s worst wedding gift with Ben Russell and Maggie Looke  

In this episode of the Wedding Disasters with Annie Louey podcast, Annie Louey is joined by comedy partners, 2022 Moosehead Award winners, and real-life married couple, comedian and improviser Ben Russell (Thank God You’re Here, We Interrupt This Broadcast) and writer Maggie Looke (Hard Quiz, Have You Been Paying Attention?).

Fresh off their 2024 Directors’ Choice Award winning Melbourne International Comedy Fesival run, Ben and Maggie share their hilarious origin story, discuss the joys and challenges of working together, and reveal how Metamucil paid for their wedding. Plus, they dive into the world’s most disgusting wedding gift that you won’t believe!

 

Episode Transcript

Annie Louie: Welcome to Wedding Disasters presented by Wedsure. com. au wedding insurance. This is the podcast where I, Annie Louie, chat with comedians about weddings that didn’t quite go to plan. Today I think I’m supposed to be dressed as mother of the bride. But we’re ready to have a very casual, almost green room like chat with our guests. A married couple. The only married couple this season. He’s a comedian, writer and improviser who you may have seen on Thank God You’re Here. It’s Ben Russell. And without a doubt, his better half, it’s writer Maggie Looke. Hello.

Maggie Looke: I like that Annie.

Annie Louie: Which part of that did you like?

Maggie Looke: The better half.

Annie Louie: The better half.

Ben Russell: Oh, that’s my better half. Yeah. Well, I’ve never described you as that.

Maggie Looke: Oh, it’s so bad.

Annie Louie: Do you have any little nicknames for each other?

Maggie Looke: Yeah. I call him uh, Boop and that was off. We, I used to know a couple who baby talked.

Annie Louie: Oh God.

Maggie Looke: And I, I think I was just making fun of them and it stuck.

Ben Russell: Yeah. Sometimes that happens. Sometimes you start bullying and irony and based saying, and it becomes just the, all the irony is stripped away

Maggie Looke: and now it’s stuck to now.

Ben Russell: You’re just one of those though. That’s how I started saying bro.

Annie Louie: Now you do it without irony

Ben Russell: a dude that says bro and I’m disappointed in myself.

Annie Louie: You’re rocking it though. I had a couple who talked baby talk during the client meeting with me to plan their wedding. They’re like, please, can I have that? I want that when I walk down the aisle, please baby.

Maggie Looke: Cookie.

Ben Russell: Yeah. That makes me feel sick.

Annie Louie: And that’s what we want out of this podcast for all the listeners, to make you feel ill up top.

Maggie Looke: It’s like when you hear um, women calling their partners daddy.

Annie Louie: No! No! Yeah. No. Yeah. Unironically, no.

Maggie Looke: Yeah.

Annie Louie: Have you seen this out in the world in real life?

Maggie Looke: Yeah. A couple.

Annie Louie: Put a girl I went to school with.

Maggie Looke: Um, Oh, big daddy’s coming to join us for drinks later.

Ben Russell: D A D D Y.

Maggie Looke: That’s not good. I said, no, this is not good. I don’t like this.

Annie Louie: No, not a fan, not a fan, but I am a big fan of you two. You have put on quite a lot of shows together. You’re a duo that works together and also is married. Talk me through your origin story.

Maggie Looke: Ben and I met in New York,

New York City.

Ben Russell: New York City. I was living in Chicago and I’d been in New York a bit. And Maggie went over and we had a mutual friend and we started talking and she was like, you should come over. And I was like, I know, I don’t even know you. That’s crazy. Yeah. And then she was like, check your email. And she had bought a Chinatown bus ticket from Chinatown Chicago to Chinatown Manhattan.

Maggie Looke: 60 bucks. Wow.

Ben Russell: 60 bucks, 15 hours.

Annie Louie: A big spender.

Maggie Looke: Yeah, no right. Yeah. There wasn’t much left in the account after that. It was a big risk. I took a risk. And then we got together and then he moved back here. He gave up his dreams and came back to Australia.

Annie Louie: But you, you’re killing it here. I see you on so many ads.

Maggie Looke: Do you know Metamucil paid for our bar at the wedding? Yeah. They did a Metamucil campaign.

Annie Louie: And they, they just loved you so much.

Maggie Looke: No, it’s just the money it went.

Ben Russell: No, it wasn’t a bar sponsored by Metamucil.

Annie Louie: Yeah, I thought it was. I’m like, how does that work?

Maggie Looke: It’s a dream. I’d love that.

Ben Russell: And the open bar is proudly sponsored by Metamucil.

Annie Louie: Just put a little bit of fiber in everything.

Ben Russell: Take a big dump afterwards.

Annie Louie: Yeah. I mean, it’s the after Grog Bogg, it makes sense, you know, the next day.

Maggie Looke: We did hand out Metamucil to the guests, so.

Annie Louie: For reals.

Ben Russell: Well, it’s one of my niece’s favourite things that I’ve done, out of everything that I’ve done. They love that.

Maggie Looke: He’s the man that launched a thousand shits, with little sachets.

Annie Louie: Tell me about how you balance your work and home life then, before we get into what your wedding was like.

Ben Russell: If you could tell us. Tell us.

Maggie Looke: I’d like some tips.

Ben Russell: Yeah, it’d be great.

Maggie Looke: We’ve been together for 11-12 years now.

Ben Russell: 11.

Maggie Looke: 11 and yeah, we first met because our sausage dog is 12.

Ben Russell: Yeah.

Annie Louie: You do have a very adorable sausage dog.

Maggie Looke: I had him for a year before he came along.

Annie Louie: So it was originally belonging to just one.

Maggie Looke: I was a single dog mom.

Annie Louie: Single dog mom looking for a dog daddy.

Maggie Looke: Yeah.

Ben Russell: Yeah. You’re just a, you’re just a hardworking Aussie dog mom.

Maggie Looke: Shout out to single dog parents out there. It is, it’s a lot of work. It is.

Ben Russell: In this economy? Yeah. With this cost of living?

Annie Louie: Yep. Little clothes. Do you put little clothes on your dog?

Maggie Looke: I put clothes on their back and food in their bowl.

Annie Louie: I’m the step mom of a dog now. I went to a pet expo. I’ve never been to a pet expo. Yeah, go around trying treats and some of the treats they hate and some will love, you know, that’s a fun way to pass.

Ben Russell: Yeah, they tried. I mean, I was there eating a can of dog food going, Hmm, needs a bit more.

Maggie Looke: Can I ask what kind of dog your stepmom is?

Annie Louie: It’s a, it’s a Jack Russell. My boyfriend says cross, but I think it’s inbred because it’s teeth. It’s got a mad underbite like it’s very cute. Yeah, yeah. He found it in a park in Shanghai and it was abandoned in a little box.

Maggie Looke: Brought it all the way over here?

Annie Louie: Yeah, it’s not here. It lives in Hong Kong. So I’ve been doing long distance. So the dog is there. But eventually we’d love to bring the dog to Australia where there’s unlimited green spaces. Yeah. But a very popular dog over there is a Border Collie. And they live in apartments as well.

Maggie Looke: That’s wild.

Annie Louie: It is, yeah.

Maggie Looke: They need to run.

Annie Louie: They need to run. Yeah, so I don’t know how that works. But they seem to be happy enough.

Maggie Looke: Yeah.

Annie Louie: Yeah.

Maggie Looke: Interesting.

Annie Louie: There are dog parks there.

Maggie Looke: That’s a fact I’m going to take to a dinner party.

Annie Louie: Yeah. Yeah. One of the most popular dogs in Hong Kong is a border collie.

Ben Russell: And that’s a dinner party fact.

Annie Louie: Yeah, exactly.

Ben Russell: You can take that as well. Take it and your friends will, you can impress your friends or at least their friends will be like, Oh,

Annie Louie: there you go.

Ben Russell: And then you can just sit in silence and eat in silence. And then someone could be like, Well, that bloody shut you up, didn’t it? And everyone will give you like a, Hmm.

Annie Louie: Yeah, one of those laughs that just a bit of air out the nose. Will you get more dogs?

Ben Russell: Yeah.

Annie Louie: Yeah. Hell yeah. That’s my favorite genre of TikTok is a woman who has like 20 sausage dogs. Oh. Yeah. She just runs around feeding them and that’s her day.

Maggie Looke: They are great. Yeah. You love them or you hate them. And I love them.

Ben Russell: We, we, um, cause we’ve gone through that phase. There’s a point in time in your circle of friends, you know, and you’ve gone through it for like 18th, 21st, 30th, you’ll go through the wedding phase, which we went through, which was good research.

Annie Louie: What was that period of your life like?

Maggie Looke: I think it’s like everyone, it’s just like a huge amount of Vineyard weddings. Everyone gets one. Yeah. Have you been to a lot of wineries?

Annie Louie: Oh, many, many. Yeah. Because they have that, people love the outdoor element and then you’ve got the reception on site. Yeah. And then you can duck off and have your sunset photos. So I think that’s what, it’s like all rolled into one.

Maggie Looke: It’s a package, isn’t it? Um, yeah. Can’t do another one. I think we’ve been to two cracker vineyard weddings and they’re in Tasmania. So if you’re going to do it, do it in like the proper, don’t do it in like the scattered Yarra Valley. Just go to the really good wineries, you know.

Ben Russell: I do like a vineyard, I think the downside of a vineyard wedding is it’s usually a drive.

Annie Louie: It is a drive and you have to arrange a mini bus, otherwise.

Maggie Looke: Yeah, but now Ben doesn’t drink anymore, so that works out well for me. But all the vineyard weddings have stopped, so we really timed it poorly.

Ben Russell: Just did well, or timed it really well.

Maggie Looke: We went to a celebrity wedding one time in a vineyard, and we were on this bus, that was taking us into the venue and there was paparazzi everywhere. So we had to stop.

Annie Louie: Are you allowed to say what celebrity?

Maggie Looke: Hmm. No.

Ben Russell: It’s a secret.

Annie Louie: Maybe you didn’t even go to a celebrity wedding. You’re just flexing.

Maggie Looke: Yeah. What a bad story that would be.

Annie Louie: Speaking of stories, we do have a story from Reddit to share, but before we get to that, I’m dying to hear what your wedding was actually like.

Maggie Looke: It was lovely. We’re really lucky.

Ben Russell: I think we came about it the right way because ultimately you can be like, it’s about celebrating love and witnessing a union and love and

Annie Louie: Have you been reading my notes? My scripts for weddings?

Ben Russell: It’s like, it’s a party, effectively.

Maggie Looke: Yeah, ours was just a, I just wanted a classy party. That’s what we had. We did it on, um, like at a restaurant on the river.

Annie Louie: Which river?

Maggie Looke: The Noosa River.

Annie Louie: What’s your connection to the Noosa area?

Maggie Looke: It’s where we went on, as a family, a lot of holidays and a lot of really good memories. And it’s a really beautiful town to host a um, what do we, what do they call them?

Ben Russell: It’s a great place to fight cricketers and have weddings.

Maggie Looke: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Annie Louie: Is there a story behind that? I don’t know.

Maggie Looke: Oh, this, the Michael Clark, Stefanovich, Bus stop that happened in the same park.

Annie Louie: Oh wow, that you had your wedding. Yeah. Wow.

Maggie Looke: But not at the same time.

Annie Louie: Yeah, that would be amazing.

Ben Russell: I would have loved that.

Annie Louie: That would require some paparazzi for sure. Really elevate you to the daily mail.

Ben Russell: That would have made it a special day.

Annie Louie: Yeah.

Maggie Looke: It’s just a good spot. We thought that if we’re going to do it, um, like remote and not in Melbourne, that, Asking people to come somewhere that they could have a lovely time, not just out in the country.

Ben Russell: It was just after lockdown, so we’re like, look, everyone’s ready for a

Maggie Looke: Everyone, yeah, really wanted a trip. Yeah, wanted a little getaway.

Annie Louie: Did you have to plan for in case the wedding had to be postponed?

Maggie Looke: We already had to. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Annie Louie: How many times did you have to do that? Three?

Maggie Looke: Twice. Twice? Yeah, twice.

Annie Louie: Did you consider after the first two going, maybe we just can this whole thing?

Maggie Looke: Yeah. The initial plan was to elope to New York for Ben and I, but that, that turned out that was not the place to go during that time, um, and it was, you know, we thought we’d do something really small, somewhere really lovely instead. I don’t know, like you bought the dress, you bought the suits, you know, it’s all ready to go. Everyone seems really excited about it. You may as well just do it. Um, uh, then just can it, like we, we put, we put together just a. really nice day. I think we’ve been there. Yeah.

Ben Russell: I came in on a speed boat.

Maggie Looke: Yeah. Ben, Ben showed up a bit of theater.

Ben Russell: Why, why should Maggie have all the fun?

Maggie Looke: I know in fairness, actually you won with that because you, it wasn’t, let’s, it wasn’t like a whitewater speed boat that you see in Sydney Harbor, you know, around the key. It was like a beautiful wooden

Ben Russell: James Bond.

Maggie Looke: It was all very classy.

Ben Russell: Not James Bond. No, it was a, you know, in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

Maggie Looke: It was more Venetian.

Annie Louie: Oh, yeah. I’m imagining light suit, but what color were you? Brown.

Maggie Looke: Yeah. And so, but I forgot to organize my transport to the venue. And so the very nice wedding planner said, Oh, I’ll do it for you. And what showed up was like a sprinter van that was covered in white chill, just like cranking out, um, the wedding song as a remix.

Annie Louie: Oh, she had it all planned. Is this a package you can buy?

Maggie Looke: No, she just called something. My mate must’ve called a mate cause it’s kind of restricted up at the Sunshine Coast. Like what the availability is. And he was very nice, but it was completely, I was just trying to avoid anything tacky for the day. And I had like purple little, um, Bottega Venia Italian shoes, little purple ones on and, uh, the guy driving the bus looked at me and said, Oh, looked down and the shoes And he thought I was wearing slippers and he was like, Oh, you forgot your shoes.

Annie Louie: Oh no, I paid thousands for these.

Maggie Looke: Yeah, it was fine. I was like, well, you know, he was there with Speed Dealer wraparound signings. So I’m like, well, yeah,

Annie Louie: I don’t know if he’s the pinnacle of fashion.

Maggie Looke: I haven’t got Tom Ford critiquing my wedding shoes, but yeah, no.

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Maggie Looke: It was just a really lovely day with the people we cared about most and it was really small and just a fun, lovely restaurant, beautiful food and um, great DJ and yeah.

Annie Louie: Nothing went wrong.

Maggie Looke: No, nothing went wrong. No.

Ben Russell: It was just a nice time.

Maggie Looke: It was a nice time. Yeah. It was felt like a, and we had a really lovely recovery. That’s the only, um, that’s one of the big advice I would take away. If you’re doing a, um, remote wedding, do plan a recovery day cause that’s almost more fun than the true.

Annie Louie: So we had to hang out again with the same people.

Maggie Looke: Yeah. It was like we would all been on a vacation together. So we booked.

Ben Russell: And also when it’s your wedding, you’re, you’re spending most of the time like catching people and saying hi and talking to everyone there and it kind of goes by, it’s all a blur.

Annie Louie: Yeah, that’s how I feel about any party you put on. You spend like five minutes with each person, the night’s gone.

Ben Russell: Yeah, so the recovery gives you a little bit of a chance to.

Maggie Looke: It was lovely. We had it at the boathouse there, which is really beautiful up on the deck. So we had the sunset and everything and everyone just wore, you know, bodies and we had oysters and things and yeah.

Annie Louie: How small is small for the wedding?

Maggie Looke: 60. Yeah. We really cut it down. We kind of, it was, it’s hard because it was either going to be 60 or 150 and the way we did it was.

Ben Russell: It had to be brutal. That was the hardest part.

Maggie Looke: One way we did it, which I felt like everyone except for one understood, um, was that if we hadn’t have met your partner or hung out with them, they didn’t get an invite.

Annie Louie: Yeah. That makes sense.

Maggie Looke: Yeah. And I don’t think, it felt like everyone completely understood. Like it was fine. Um. And it did mean that we didn’t have to invite a whole lot of people. A, we didn’t know, never met and B, like double the costing of everything.

Annie Louie: Do you have big families though?

Maggie Looke: No, no.

Annie Louie: No. Yeah. That helps.

Ben Russell: I have a rule that, I mean, I feel like there’s an unwritten rule that you can’t get upset about not getting invited to a wedding.

Maggie Looke: Oh yeah.

Ben Russell: Like it’s not you, it’s not your, it’s not your time.

Annie Louie: Yeah.

Ben Russell: So what?

Annie Louie: You are paying for it.

Ben Russell: I’ve not been invited to people’s weddings. Like probably a billion weddings.

Annie Louie: Statistically speaking.

Ben Russell: And I’m not, and I don’t get, I’m not upset about it. I understand.

Maggie Looke: I don’t know about you, Annie, but I’ve not been invited to weddings. Ben’s been invited to and vice versa. And it did not worry me. In fact, I was like, great. I don’t have to do all of this stuff and get there. And, you know.

Annie Louie: I know that cause I think when you’re first starting your friendship group, starting to get married, you do, and you haven’t been to your first one yet. You’re kind of itching for it. You’re like, Oh, where can I get an invite? I really want to go. But then once you’ve been through like 15, yeah, it’s expensive.

Ben Russell: And once you’ve been a plus one at a wedding that, you know, no one, then you stop wishing for that.

Annie Louie: Like with Asian weddings, you’re expected to give a red pocket as well. So I don’t think it works out good value for anyone. You eat the food, but then you pay for the food and more. So, yeah, I don’t know. Did you have a wishing well?

Maggie Looke: Yeah, we had a wishing well and everyone was really kind cause they’d already flown up there. Yeah. Um. But yeah, it really helps pay for quite a big chunk of the wedding. Um, uh, but, I think we had a wishing well, but only one person, and one person, I think it was Damien Power, the comedian, brought us a gift, and it was this giant, what was it, that glass thing?

Ben Russell: It was a

Maggie Looke: Like the thing you mix punch in? No, it was like a

Ben Russell: What is it? Not Chartreuse, the thing that, that used to make, that French poets used to drink and trip out on.

Maggie Looke: And it was a big punch thing as well. It Absinthe.

Ben Russell: It was an absinthe thing. Like tap thing.

Annie Louie: Wow. I’m not fancy enough.

Ben Russell: He was like, yeah, it’s a big gift. It’s a rig gift, yeah.

Annie Louie: So Damien, if he’s watching.

Maggie Looke: I think it’s still at mum and dad’s house.

Ben Russell: It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s the thought that counts.

Maggie Looke: I loved him being there. He’s one of our best friends.

Annie Louie: He also hauled that on a plane.

Maggie Looke: No, no, no, no, no. He lives in the Gold Coast. That was not it.

Annie Louie: So that’s like the classiest thing you can get in the Gold Coast.

Ben Russell: Yeah, exactly.

Maggie Looke: But yeah, no, it was, it was lovely. The thought was great, but I do encourage a wishing well if people don’t, aren’t too precious about it. But yeah, that is, yeah, that’s very kind of everyone.

Ben Russell: But like, I don’t expect anything.

Maggie Looke: Yeah. The one thing with a wishing well was we just got, I know this is crazy, but we got a plain card. Just plain card. You don’t need, just don’t put it in.

Annie Louie: Oh. Cause I, I think it’s tenner in there. Yeah, put money in it and a card, right? Yeah, don’t. Or do you, I don’t know how white people do. Do you just put money in there? Like just raw dog money in there?

Maggie Looke: No, you put it in a card.

Ben Russell: Yeah, you shouldn’t, you shouldn’t raw dog the money.

Annie Louie: No. Yeah, it’s not like.

Ben Russell: You gotta wrap that money.

Annie Louie: Yeah, it’s not like at the supermarket where you put coins in the dog’s head. None of that. Yeah. Um, yeah. ‘Cause we have red envelopes for it usually. Yeah. So that’s, yeah.

Maggie Looke: It’s just a, it’s a white person’s version of a red envelope. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

Ben Russell: We just don’t have as good of food.

Maggie Looke: Which is a white envelope.

Annie Louie: Yeah. When I think about it as a celebrant, I always write a card though, so I put that in.

Maggie Looke: We had such a nice celebrant as well. She was just so lovely.

Annie Louie: What, what was your way of uh, choosing a celebrant?

Maggie Looke: Everything online, cause we was in lockdown still.

Ben Russell: Yeah. They just had to be like. A good, chill kind of line.

Maggie Looke: She was chill, and she was really good at it. And she was really nice, but she didn’t want to be like, the focus of attention. She didn’t want to, she wasn’t going up there to do stand up. Yeah. Like a lot of them look, felt like.

Ben Russell: That was the main, like, you’re getting up in front of a pretty much.

Maggie Looke: Yeah, we’ve already got comedians here. Oh yeah, for sure. 80 percent comedian. We don’t need more.

Annie Louie: Yeah, cause you can, people often don’t know, you can hire. A celebrant to do the paperwork and then anyone can do everything else. Yeah. So it’s still legal. So if you wanted a stand up comedy wedding, you could just hire an actual comedian and then the person comes out.

Ben Russell: Oh, we wouldn’t hire them. I’d pay them an exposure.

Annie Louie: Yeah, of course.

Ben Russell: I’d say this is a really good opportunity. With some industry eyes across.

Annie Louie: Oh yeah, networking, choosing.

Ben Russell: It was a big networking opportunity.

Maggie Looke: It was a terrible networking opportunity because it was just comedians. No one in power was there. I think there was one producer that came. So really it was like if you wanted to just get a gig at someone’s room they did once.

Annie Louie: Yeah, playing to the back of the room type of laugh.

Maggie Looke: Yeah, it was like the whole thing was the back of the room. Pretty much every comic you could think of was there. Yeah. Which was crazy because we didn’t think they’d come. We thought, oh, we’d get like 40 or 30 people. And then when all the RSVPs came in, it was really stressful. Oh, this is actually happening. Yeah. But as soon as I got like word, everyone had flown in the night before. It’s like, we’re here. You know, I started seeing the photos go up. Then I was, Ben and I were like, yeah, it’s fine. Yeah. It doesn’t matter what happens now. It’s going to be great.

Annie Louie: Cause you work in the industry of television and so often we’re already the center of attention. And I feel for the couples who have not done this before ever, because they look very deer in the headlights when it comes to their big day. How did you feel the comparison of what you do for work and then your wedding day?

Ben Russell: Um, I mean, it was, uh, it’s obviously a big time, the ceremony, but ultimately you, you like, We’d been together for a while. So it wasn’t like, Oh, I don’t know about this. Like it was just a thing. It was just a nice sort of thing that we wanted to be like. Yeah.

Maggie Looke: I was very adamant that I, you know, I wanted to wear like a suit and greet everyone coming in. Um, but my dad was very, You know, he really wanted to do, even though it wasn’t a traditional memory wedding, add some tradition into it. So I ended up walking down the aisle. With your dad as well? With my dad. Oh, cute. Well, Pete Hellier was going to do it, but he couldn’t come last minute. He was going to do it and then handing over to my dad last minute. So, um, but. That was quite sincere.

Ben Russell: He was going to do it as Strawny.

Maggie Looke: As Strawny. Oh, wow.

Annie Louie: For anyone who doesn’t know that he’s a footy character.

Maggie Looke: I was, um, devo, but no, that’s fine. Um, it also, that’s a real story by the way. We’re not just riffing about Pete Helliar. We love him. Yeah. He’s my comedy dad.

Ben Russell: Uh, one of my groomsmen did a poem about it. The Great Brisbane Floods.

Maggie Looke: In 2011.

Annie Louie: It was very niche.

Ben Russell: In 2011, and then that, the year, that year.

Maggie Looke: Yeah, it was about three weeks later that the floods happened on Central.

Ben Russell: So he was responsible.

Annie Louie: He’s psychic.

Ben Russell: For those floods.

Maggie Looke: Yeah. He wrote, he wrote, he did a reading, um, uh, talking about how lovely it’s like the, um, the Great Brisbane Flood of 2011.

Ben Russell: I would always say that, like, you know, someone’s from Brisbane because they’ll tell you about the 2011 floods. Floods. Mm-Hmm. Flood. And especially if you’re in Brisbane with anyone from

Maggie Looke: Brisbane, they’ll like point out the floodline

Ben Russell: that that’s where the water was up to. You’d be like, oh yeah, yeah. Cool.

Maggie Looke: So he did his whole, that was the reading in the wedding. And that’s,

Annie Louie: did you have T vet the material or you just, I didn’t say your friend.

Ben Russell: Do we just had a time limit? Yeah, that’s all we had. We were just like, make, keep it at. Keep it at tight 5. Yeah.

Maggie Looke: Tight 5. One groomsman did the reading, and then one groomsman was the MC, and then the third did the best man speech.

Annie Louie: Nice. You gave everyone a little job to contribute to the wedding.

Ben Russell: And I don’t, like, neither of us love long speeches.

Annie Louie: Oh no. I think that is just key. You have to stick to time. I say no one’s speech should be more than five minutes.

Ben Russell: There’s been some

Maggie Looke: My, my, my, um, maid of honor did an acronym, like what is it?

Annie Louie: Acrostic poem?

Maggie Looke: Acrostic poem is her speech.

Annie Louie: For your names?

Maggie Looke: Yeah. For our names. Yeah. Please just keep it really brief.

Annie Louie: Like I don’t think I’ve ever heard a good acrostic poem.

Maggie Looke: It was, she was very funny. She did a great job. And she was, she wasn’t even a comedian. She’s not in comedy. So yeah, she actually probably outdid a couple of the others. Um, but uh, yeah, it was, yeah, it was great. It was a really, it was a really lovely, I have no qualms with what happened that weekend.

Ben Russell: Yeah. It was a really nice time.

Annie Louie: You seem like a chill couple though to work with. If things had gone wrong, would you have reacted?

Ben Russell: Why? I don’t understand people that are like, control everything. Everything has to be perfect in what place and time is, are things perfect?

Maggie Looke: I think also like for me like if you like you’re saying Annie and you probably find the same thing if you’ve worked on I’ve worked on like quite big things quite stressful things, you know and big productions and stuff So like you have in the back of your head like nothing can be as stressful as what just happened there So let’s just all calm down. It’s not the end of the world. We’re not doing surgery here. Even my mum, and this sounds weird, my mum said to me that she was concerned about how relaxed I was about the whole day.

Ben Russell: Like this isn’t the dark ages. We’re not bringing together two houses to prevent a war.

Maggie Looke: You just put on a party and then you want to go.

Annie Louie: Yeah. Cause there’s, you never know until the day when I have my couples, they seem super chill throughout. And then on the day they, Flick a switch and it’s different, or it could be the other way around and it surprises me and I think you really just can’t predict. Mm. So you would chill though all the way through consistently. Yeah. Till the day.

Ben Russell: Yeah. Yeah, it was nice.

Maggie Looke: It was nice. Yeah, it was good. It was just nice when it like it. When it’s on the day when it’s happened, you know, the lead up is a long, it was a long lead up, it’s like a year lead up because of all the cancellations. Usually it would be like three to four months. So, um,

Ben Russell: we were like engaged for what, two years?

Maggie Looke: Yeah, it was a long, very long engagement, similar to the film, A Long Engagement.

Annie Louie: I haven’t seen that.

Maggie Looke: I think it’s French. I don’t know. Um, Yeah. Yeah.

Annie Louie: Great. Well, I’m glad to hear it because not everything needs to be a disaster on this podcast. I do have a story though, that is a bit of a disaster. It’s from Reddit and I want to see what your thoughts are and how you read it.

Maggie Looke: No.

Annie Louie: I will read for you. Posting anonymously because I am literally sitting next to a brown paper bag typing this. I just got married over the past weekend and I’m still opening gifts. One of my husband’s groomsmen, let’s call him Fred, has always given me creepy vibes. I just opened the gift he gave to us and literally I am besides myself. He wrote this note to my favorite couple in reference to her husband. He was such a gross dude in college. He always left his clipped nails all over the dorm. Guess who has been collecting them for eight years? Almost as long as you two have been dating. I added in some of my own and formed them into a brick structure. The hardness is because I included concrete glue. Now husband won’t be able to forget the school name days with Fred and My name will be the only bride in the U. S. that has a fingernail paperweight. Hope you guys enjoy the laugh. Happy for you. Congrats, Fred.

Ben Russell: See, come, comedy is hard, isn’t it? It’s harder than it seems. I think we all take it for granted. Yeah. You know, and, and I’m, cause that’s not, not funny. I would say, not to be a snob, but I don’t reckon that’s funny. Got it.

Annie Louie: The, you wouldn’t laugh if I gave you some of my clippings.

Ben Russell: No, I’d be pissed off. Mmm. I’d be pretty pissed off with you.

Annie Louie: Toes and fingers.

Ben Russell: For doing that.

Annie Louie: Toes and fingers. Yeah. Okay, toes and fingers. Nails, toes and fingers.

Ben Russell: To be fair, I would be less pissed off if it was fingernails for some reason. That’s less gross. Toenails in particular would, I think that would, I’d be pissed off.

Annie Louie: The story continues and gets a little more, uh, grotesque. Oh. I wish this was a joke. This is the grossest wedding gift I could even fathom and it’s on my kitchen table. A literal aged yellow nail fell off and onto my floor. It’s not funny and I honestly don’t know what my husband will say. Please comfort me. Someone.

Maggie Looke: Is that the name of the person or is she asking for someone?

Annie Louie: Like someone. Like someone please.

Maggie Looke: Oh. That’s what I was gonna say. Regard someone.

Annie Louie: No.

Maggie Looke: Um. Um. Um, yeah, I don’t know. There’s something about, I’m not as creeped out by fingernails and toenails.

Annie Louie: Yeah, I feel like I’m somewhere in between both of your responses because I was happy to clip my fingernails on the dining room table. And, you know, they fly everywhere and I go, I’m just going to vacuum afterwards. Yeah. And, uh, my boyfriend saw that and was like, that’s sick. What are you doing? Yeah. But also the, the clipper had a little catchment. where you can, it just kind of holds it. And like one in 10 nails might fly away and I will clean that up afterwards.

Ben Russell: And if you love something, you gotta set it free. And it will return to you tenfold. You’ll get, for each one that flies away, you’ll get 10 back.

Annie Louie: It’s like make a wish.

Ben Russell: Yeah. Except the wish is always more toenails.

Annie Louie: Which inevitably you’re going to get anyway, cause they never stop growing.

Maggie Looke: Yeah. It’s disgusting.

Ben Russell: Yeah. I hate them.

Maggie Looke: Oh, okay.

Annie Louie: Well, that’s a very strong opinion.

Ben Russell: I hate toenails. I wish, I wish if I could make one wish that they never existed.

Annie Louie: Whoa.

Ben Russell: Yeah. And then on Christmas day, an angel is going to visit me and be like, here’s a world without fingernails and toenails.

Annie Louie: They serve a purpose though. You need them for something. I mean, fingernails, obviously, but toenails and maybe back in the day for some,

Ben Russell: yeah, I can understand fingernails for a little. To, um, open the, like, door, little doors on battery on your robot.

Annie Louie: Oh, yeah, they are good. You gotta do that. Um, maybe it was for fighting purposes back in the day, you know, cause they use it for water polo underwater. They, that’s a technique to scratch your opponents via toenail.

Ben Russell: Very catty, uh, water polo community.

Maggie Looke: We used to have different water polo togs.

Annie Louie: What do you mean water from, did you used to?

Maggie Looke: No, our school had a big, it was a big water polo school. We had water polo togs, which you meant the ones where you couldn’t put your foot in the back of the tog and push the person down. So you, you only had.

Annie Louie: Whoa, I’ve never thought about different.

Maggie Looke: Like kind of catsuit things. The girls couldn’t drown the other one by putting it full. It’s, that’s a bit fucked, don’t you think? I just thought about that. That’s weird that that was normal. Yeah. Like we’ve got to make different togs so the girls aren’t drowning themselves. Yeah. In the swimming pool.

Ben Russell: I flip mine into the bathroom sink and don’t get rid of them.

Annie Louie: The sink?

Maggie Looke: Yeah, he flips them into the bathroom sink and doesn’t get rid of them.

Ben Russell: Simple, a simple, effective way to remedy that is you just turn the tap on.

Annie Louie: I don’t know if that’s good for the fish or sewer. I don’t know. Have you done the foot pedi things with the fish?

Maggie Looke: Oh, I’d love one of those.

Annie Louie: Yeah.

Maggie Looke: I want a whole body of that. Fish me up. I’ll be so,

Ben Russell: you want to get in with all the fish again,

Maggie Looke: but you have to have to plug up certain parts, but I just want a full body fish scrub.

Annie Louie: I’m going to get cut, but I’m like, you don’t want to fish on your clit.

Maggie Looke: Is that in Hong Kong? I always say that I can’t find that anywhere here. It’s always like Southeast to

Annie Louie: Oh we went to and we had it done there. So that, that was really nice. But it was my first time going and I don’t trust it because of all the stories about foot funguses and things like that. But I thought if it’s, if it’s anywhere, it’s got to be Taiwan. They’re very cleanly there. And yeah, once I got in, I was, my foot was so smooth for, I reckon two months and you can’t get that kind of pedi. Yeah. So imagine if you were able to do it.

Maggie Looke: I feel like that’s a market that hasn’t been tapped into here.

Annie Louie: Absolutely. Yeah. We’re full of ideas on the show.

Maggie Looke: Yeah. Fish, fish, food, fish, food.

Annie Louie: Yeah. Fish food for thought.

Maggie Looke: Full body fish, fish, scrub fish nibble.

Annie Louie: And that’s where we probably going to end the pod because we’re running out of time.

Ben Russell: Yeah, it was what you said was really inappropriate. Um, I would say, uh, divorce your husband and, um, call the cops on his friend.

Maggie Looke: Yeah, it’s got real Love Actually I’m got the. You know, he takes the, the, the video of her. Yeah. It’s got that kind of vibe, doesn’t it? Yeah, yeah. That maybe he likes her a little too much.

Annie Louie: I would, I would love to be at the police station when someone rocks up to report that. Like, if you imagine you didn’t know who the culprit was and you just put this cemented fingernail rock on the counter.

Ben Russell: Why are you at the police station? What did you do wrong?

Annie Louie: No, I’m saying if I worked at the

Ben Russell: You a suspect?

Annie Louie: Yeah.

Maggie Looke: If you’re a policeman.

Ben Russell: Are you a cop now?

Annie Louie: I feel like you’ve played this role before, Ben.

Maggie Looke: You’re a cop now. Police person. Police person.

Ben Russell: Wait, if you’re a cop, you have to tell us. I didn’t realize this was a wedding cop podcast.

Maggie Looke: Are you a cop, Annie?

Annie Louie: I’m wearing a wire right now. I am.

Maggie Looke: Aren’t we all wearing wires? Aren’t they in front of us?

Ben Russell: These are big wires.

Maggie Looke: These are big wires.

Ben Russell: I actually knew already that this was being recorded.

Maggie Looke: Oh God, alright.

Ben Russell: Because you said, uh, in the email and the call sheet that this is going to be recorded. Yeah. Yeah. And I think I signed up.

Maggie Looke: He’s losing his mind. It’s the end of Comedy Festival.

Ben Russell: I haven’t slept.

Annie Louie: I’m letting this run because I think it’s just such a funny way to end the pod. You know, like we can do a little fade out. Please do. Ben and Maggie, it’s been so much fun hanging out with you on the comedian’s couch with your coffees. I feel like I’m just having a chat amongst friends at the pub after a gig, but all the best with your future adventures together in comedy. And thank you listeners and viewers for joining me on Wedding Disasters presented by wedsure.com.au Wedding Insurance. I’ve been your host, Annie Louie. Please be sure to subscribe to the podcast and jump onto the Wedsure socials for the latest, and visit Wedsure.com.au for your wedding insurance coverage.