Double Barrel Surnames and Wedding Dowry Dramas w Kevin Han  

This week on Wedding Disasters, stand-up comedian Annie Louey chats with comedian and friend Kevin Han about his own wedding disaster near-misses. As Kevin’s celebrant, Annie gets the inside scoop on his wedding, including why it took so long to happen, the generational name-crisis of double-barrelling surnames, and his mom’s last-minute panic about a dowry.

 

Episode Transcript

Annie: Welcome to Wedding Disasters presented by Wedsure.com.au Wedding Insurance. This is the podcast where I, Annie Louie, chat with comedians about weddings that didn’t quite go to plan. Today I’m joined by comedian and former client of mine, Kevin Han. Hello, makes me sound like a lawyer.

Kevin: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It sounds like you’ve represented me after I did something bad.

Annie: Yeah, and we won.

Kevin: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m not allowed to talk about it.

Annie: So it’s because I did your wedding pretty recently.

Kevin: October last year, 2023.

Annie: Yes. And it was a beautiful day in New South Wales.

Kevin: Yes, it was. Country New South Wales.

Annie: Yes, the New England area in the northeast. Um, but yes, beautiful country wedding. Uh, it was a destination wedding. Sorry to all my friends and family.

Kevin: And I thought about you because that day was quite stressful for me anyway. And the lead up, there were a lot of things going on as well. And I know that you talk quite openly about having ADHD and also your partner having ADHD and now I found out I also have that too.

Kevin: You actually caught it from us.

Annie: Yeah, I spent too much time with you. So it was a bit of a, you know, a melting pot of things that could have led to disaster. Some were avoided and some were, you know, on their way, but I think we mitigated it.

Kevin: I look back on my wedding very fondly. You are right, there were multiple things where things could have gone quite wrong, but then they just didn’t. Like many instances of us essentially being rewarded for doing the wrong thing. For example, like, we had no wet weather plan at all. Like, the ceremony was outdoors, we got permission from the National Parks Authority to have it on a lookout, overlooking a beautiful, beautiful canyon. And I think someone at some point said, Oh, what if it rains? And then I think my wife and I, we just said to each other out loud, let’s not think about that.

Annie: I always make sure to ask my clients what the wet, wet weather contingency is though. So you did tell me it was going to be at the reception. Maybe.

Kevin: I genuinely forgot that you remember this better than I do.

Annie: But this is kind of going to be Like a movie where we cut to your experience and then we’ll cut to my experience. But tell me the lead up. What were you doing in the year before your wedding?

Kevin: Oh, it wasn’t like I, I kept putting off our wedding for years and years. And it was definitely my fault. Like, cause my wife and I had been together for six years. Uh, when we got married last year, uh, and the issue was, and this is, I hope you understand this, um, Annie, but like, basically, um, I didn’t want there to be bad Chinese food. But we also needed a country wedding and those two facts essentially just made us put off the wedding and not think about it for years and years until finally we just got too annoyed. We’re like, stuff it. Let’s just do it. And then, you know, like when you like build a task up in your head a lot, and then you just don’t think about it for years and one day you just suddenly become so angry that you just organize it really well.

Annie: So you were prioritizing the food that’s the most important thing for you?

Kevin: Well, well, like, you know, Annie, like, we’re both Chinese. The rumors are true. Right? . But like, you know, it’s like, it’s like how, like it’s also just, I didn’t want to be like, like, shamed for having, do you know what I mean?

Annie: Yeah. I used to work for a catering company doing Asian weddings. So you get the full eight course meal and everything. Yeah. Yeah.

Kevin: Yeah. It’s like, it’s like if the Asian food is low quality, people will talk about it. Like, I don’t, I got it in my head that it’s like, it would be like a curse and a bad omen. I’m not superstitious at all. But also as well, I was just like, I don’t want to eat like, boiled green beans. You know what I mean? I wanted like, like, you know, like, something, something that could, you know, people could really enjoy. And with menu plans, cause you know, Ingrid, uh, is, you know, she’s Caucasian, unfortunately. But I’m cool with it, I’ve forgiven her. But basically, we wanted to have the menu be like, Uh, Uh, a mix of, of those two things, you know, we had a mixed, mixed race wedding. So we did that, you know, whole, like, you know, let’s, let’s throw the two theme park versions of two cultures together into our menu.

Annie: From what I remember, the food was very delicious and there was a lot of food. Yes. Also because your family connection now is with farmers.

Kevin: Yes, yes. So, uh, shout outs to Leo Fittler, uh, and Trudy Fittler, my in laws. Um, Leo’s a lamb and beef farmer and he provided eight lambs, uh, for

Annie: In the end it was two. too many lambs. There was a lot of leftovers.

Kevin: There was a lot of meat leftover. Yeah. But a lot of people like took it home and like, you know, like, you know, ate it later and that type of stuff. Like at one point during the days before, like he was like, Hey, check this out. And just showed us the picture of like a pen of the eight different lambs. And he was like, yeah, these are the ones that we’re going to eat.

Annie: But it gave me an appreciation for the work that went into the wedding because I don’t think I’ve ever had a wedding where it’s been, you know, farm to table.

Kevin: Yeah, yeah, well, in the farm they just call it to table, you know, like, it’s really cool because now that, like, I’m of the country now, I’m, like, rural adjacent, I get to say, oh, I know where my food comes from, which is a lot of fun.

Annie: Yeah, and then we, I went around for dinner. a few days later and we got to eat the leftovers.

Kevin: So yeah, it was so good. And also like, uh, and like we, we absolutely lucked out. So one of the things that I genuinely was so stressed out about, if not the number one thing was like having like nice, good quality, uh, well made Asian food there. And then it turns out like the, when the wedding venue, um, they had an old chef who had been there for like, like, like a decade or something like that. And then they had like retired and they brought in a new chef who they’d never worked with before. But then it turns out that this chef, she, you know, she studied culinary school in Thailand and all over Asia. And so she did like an absolute great job, like tofu skin, salad, cucumber, salad, garlic, green beans, you know, like absolutely amazing stuff. Alongside, you know, the classic country roast potatoes, gravy, you know, spit roasted lamb legs and all that. Oh, such a, such a good time.

Annie: I’m glad we got the food stuff out of the way first, because that is what I love about weddings. Um, but a few other things in the planning process, you had to consider what were some of the things that you wanted.

Kevin: I want to get over with, but also like, I wanted like, um, Friends from, uh, Sydney, but also interstate friends as well to come, you know, friends from comedy. Um, and so like, I think I also got into my head that I’d watched too much comedy where the comedians are complaining on a big stage about, oh, destination weddings. Am I right? And I was just like, got into my head that I was inflicting this upon like my loved ones. But then I had a chat with, you know, another friend of mine, good friend, Melbourne comedian, Massey Vasquez. And he said, It’s not like that at all. We love you and want to be there for you. And that was like, a really affirming and encouraging thing. And I was like, yeah, everyone does want to be there and that type of stuff. I think these people on stage might be lying or exaggerating negative emotions, you know. Which is crazy, because as a comedian, I never tell a lie.

Annie: And you put me up in, uh, Motel for a night, but it was the nicest motel I’ve ever stayed in. Oh, shout out to the, I think the Armadale Inn, something like that.

Kevin: There’s quite a few motels. There’s quite a few like hotels of like varying, um, types in, in, in, in Armadale. Uh, and yeah, yeah, it’s, it’s a, it’s a nice country town. It’s a nice quiet town as well. Very cottage core.

Annie: Yeah. Very cottage core. Uh, especially when we were driving along and you see all of this, uh, It’s beautiful bushland. And we’d gone to the rehearsal the day before and you took us right there. We waited for our smoking ceremony conductor, which is a different story, but the next day was the real wedding. And I thought, Oh, this is going to be seamless. We have rehearsed this before. And I got in the car with your mates, your best man. Two of your now wife’s brothers and we were driving,

Kevin: they were always her brothers,

Annie: yeah, still her brothers but we had the speaker that you had hired in the back of the car as well. And we’re driving along and I thought, yeah, we’re having good chat, good banter, but it has been a while. I feel like we have been chatting for a good 45 minutes and I don’t remember the drive being this long. Yeah. And I checked my phone, I had 5G reception and I saw we had completely overshot the turn off. And this is, you know, deep in rural New South Wales, it’s landlocked. And I thought, how far are we going to drive? We could have just kept driving until we hit the coast of New South Wales. No one was going to say anything. They didn’t have reception. Yeah. And so we ran straight Super late. We had the celebrant and the equipment and the best man. So you couldn’t have conducted the wedding without them. And you were just sitting there. I was just actually in my own

Kevin: wedding. I was just riffing.

Annie: Yeah. You had to keep everyone entertained.

Kevin: And also we had like no shelter and it was a hot day. So like there was like, we didn’t get like a pergola or anything. We were just like, Oh, please just stand in the sun in rows for a bit.

Annie: I’m glad you were. Chill about it. Cause I was stressing the fuck out.

Kevin: Yeah. I was stressed as well, but also I think at that point, like, cause Ingrid and I both had such decision fatigue, like our ability to feel emotions was very different to how it normally is. But yeah, like it also was fine. Like, you know, like I remember, you know, even on the day of, we were talking about it and you were like, Oh, this is like the most relaxed wedding I’ve ever worked on. This is like 20 percent improvised on the spot.

Annie: Yeah. Yeah. I was so relieved to see you. at the, the lookout and you were just like, yeah, this is fine. You know, relax, take your time.

Kevin: We had little white girls playing violin and cello. These are my, uh, my wife’s nieces, but yeah, we just had like family there playing. We wanted it to be as DIY a wedding as possible as well. You know, like supplying food from, from a father in law music from, you know, extended family and that type of stuff.

Annie: You were crafting things as well. You had DIY candle holders at the reception. And I think that’s really nice because it gets you away from the stress in the lead up, you know, you’re coloring in, you’re gluing things.

Kevin: Yeah. We had little fidget toys on the table as well. It was a very neurodivergent wedding. You know, your vibe attracts your tribe. I think is one of the rhymes I heard recently.

Annie: Oh, you’re so down with the kids. Even mentioning your name reminds me of another drama that happened in the lead up. You wanted to change your identity. Yeah.

Kevin: Uh, gosh, yeah, no, yeah, so, uh, my wife and I were thinking about it, so, uh, before, my legal name used to be Dwarjin, uh, so Kevin wasn’t even part of my legal name, just cause ethnic parents just kind of, you know how they sometimes just don’t care about things, which you might find useful?

Annie: Oh, yeah, my sister’s name is Anna, so, yeah, yeah, yeah. Very selfishly went, that’ll be cute, Annie and Anna, and it has not really worked out that way.

Kevin: Yeah, and so, for me, uh, the plan was, we were discussing what to do with our surnames, because also, double barrelling surnames, I don’t think is sustainable. It’s like, it’s like, people talk about, like, the climate crisis, but also we need to talk about the name crisis, the surname crisis, because if you double barrel a surname, And then there’s two kids of that generation who have double barrel surnames. You can’t quadruple barrel a surname.

Annie: It’s a lot.

Kevin: It’s just pushing it, it’s like sweeping it under the rug, you know what I mean? It’s our generation’s cowardice being inflicted upon the next generation, you know? We can’t buy houses, but at least we have, like, short surnames.

Annie: So it would have been, uh, Gin, Fittler Gin, if you had kept your old name. If I had kept my old last name. What was the reasoning to begin with to want to change your name?

Kevin: Well, so my last name, my old last name of Jin, uh, was my father’s last name, but my father obviously, um, wasn’t part of our life growing up, so it was just kind of like an artifact, and I wasn’t really emotionally attached to it, and then, um, my wife and I were thinking about it, and I was like, there was, we were tossing up, like, I take her last name, but then I just become Kevin Fittler, and I just become a white guy, and I didn’t want that.

Annie: I guess that would raise more questions.

Kevin: Yeah, I get great service over the phone, but I don’t think I would feel comfortable going through my life being introduced on stage as Kevin Fittler. You know, like, wait, how is he related to Brad Fittler? What? But we eventually came across a solution of just, um, Both taking on my, my mum’s last name because my mum was the one who looked after me and my brothers growing up.

Annie: But in order for that to happen, you first had to change your name and I was explaining because weddings are actually just a lot of admin explaining to you that you’re going to miss the deadline to change your name and then it’s going to be a lot harder a process and cost you more money if you wanted to do it after you’re married. So just get it done now. And the clock was ticking, but admin tasks were overwhelming.

Kevin: It’s like, it’s like, I realized that like everything in my life follows the logic of, Oh, the assignment’s due tomorrow. Oh, and then just getting it done and like, just having so much stress in like a very compressed window. But that is unfortunately just how I get a lot of things done. Yeah. But yeah. And so, yeah, like, uh, and it was so frustrating having to do all this admin and go to all these different organizations and contacting every organization I’ve ever had any contact with ever, you know, I’m talking to angelfire. com being like, I’ve got a new last name or something like that. But then I realized that this is also what a lot of women have gone through. So this actually does technically make me a hero.

Annie: People might not know it’s free to change your last name by marriage. You just go show your documents that you’re married and that’s super simple, but changing your last name. Your name is a little more difficult, but it allows your partner to take on your last name immediately after the wedding.

Kevin: In a way, I’m even more of a feminist than my wife is in this situation. Rock on, Kevin.

Annie: We should give you a medal.

Kevin: Yes.

Annie: Tell me about the intentions behind wanting a smoking ceremony at your wedding.

Kevin: Well, because we’re having a rural wedding and, and I think it’s really important to, you know, be in contact with Um, you know, indigenous groups that understand, you know, whose land you’re on and that type of stuff, understand the history of these places, you know, because, you know, it’s like, uh, uh, I, for a little bit, took a Darug language course, which is the language of what we now call Western Sydney, uh, in those areas, um, and, you know, it’s just really nice being part of those lessons and sitting in on circles over Zoom, but like listening to elders have yarns about like culture and history and country and that type of stuff. And those are the kind of values that I really hold on to and wanted to. And so Ingrid and I made the efforts of contacting a local elder, uh, in that area and getting in touch with him and kind of learning about the land and the history of the region that we were getting married on as well. Uh, unfortunately, um, he did mention that, uh, There was some dispute between different groups there as well. Um, but that did kind of get resolved in its own way, uh, independently of us.

Annie: Because you had to choose one person to do it, so

Kevin: Yeah, well, we were told in some terms that like, you know, if this person’s doing it, then I can’t be there and that type of stuff, because there was a cultural feuding and that type of stuff. And I just want to say as well, like, it sounds like scary, a lot of people pucker up when they hear this, but I still think fundamentally that, you know, If you approach things with good intention and good values, um, and you communicate honestly and clearly, you know, there’s still a right way of going around things and, you know, we made a really good connection with our elder at the, at the, at the place.

Annie: Yeah. Yeah. So it sounds like you do need a lot of flexibility being the couple. Would you have any advice for people planning their wedding in case things go wrong? What can they do?

Kevin: This is going to sound really condescending, you should love your partner, and trust them, and communicate with them, because how many people do we know? Just kind of still on the day, the very big day, still kind of not great at communicating, you know, I mean like Ingrid and I also come from performing backgrounds ourselves, so she’s got a musician background and I unfortunately am a comedian, um, but both of us were kind of quite used to performing because of wedding is just essentially a party. public performance of love. There’s production values, there’s staging, and there’s, you know, sound, design, considerations to make. And, uh, we kind of essentially approached it from a production angle. And we’re like, oh, we know how to produce things. Um, and in terms of that as well, have a massive family that can do lots of tasks for you and you can delegate.

Annie: Ingrid had a lot of siblings. How many siblings does she have again?

Kevin: She’s the middle of seven.

Annie: Yeah. Everyone was all hands on deck. We had, list some of the jobs because your, your father in law was. in charge of providing the meat for the wedding. But you also had, oh, your brother in law was MC at the reception and he was so funny. He was, it was his first ever gig and he was

Kevin: Oh no, no, he’s MC’d another wedding before, I think.

Annie: Oh, but he’s not a professional performer.

Kevin: No, no, no. He’s a, he’s a stay at home dad slash mom, you know, but yeah, Josh is, you know, so great. He’s so funny. And really it’s like, you know, those moments when you’re a comedian and you meet someone who’s just so naturally funny That even when they have a microphone in front of them, they’re still lovable and charming and funny and they’re completely, like, not formally trained or anything.

Annie: Yeah, that’s what was so endearing about it because some of the announcements would just end with, And yeah!

Kevin: Yeah, yeah. And also as well, it’s just like, I remember like asking a friend of mine, my friend Lauren Bonner, Uh, if she was interested in emceeing, and she just said, uh, No, you should just get like a fun family member. You shouldn’t get like, necessarily like, a professional with experience. You should just get someone who’s, you know, around. And, you know, that’s the type of vibe. You know, you don’t want to be, Overproducing your own wedding.

Annie: Yeah, and it helps so much when you genuinely know the couple, so it’s not cookie cutter when you make announcements and things.

Kevin: Yeah, cause Ingrid and I, our philosophy towards our wedding was it was very like, uh, we wanted to be as reflective of ourselves, but also our community, our friends and family as much as possible. Like, Ingrid and I spent so much time just watching those package wedding videos, where it’s always like a drone shot, slow pan over some like luxury products. Yeah. black and white, interspersed, a guy is getting a tie put around him in slow motion, you know, you can clearly tell the photographer’s like, all right, sir, just have a look over there and you give us a big smile, you know, like,

Annie: it’s so clearly a package. They’re not only putting on a show, but they’re also making movies on the day. You’re now an actor and you’ve got to go through the motions of, all right, let’s do another take.

Kevin: Like, look, I hate it when non performers perform. And that’s not a slight against anyone, that’s not a person, that’s just a taste thing. But it’s just like, I’m like, you know, if you’re like a doctor or an engineer, it’s so fine for you to not be good at like, riffing on the spot or anything, but it’s just, we wanted to avoid this idea of like, our wedding just kind of being a cookie cutter thing, right? Like you said earlier, like, we watched so many of these videos, and we watched so many of those videos of like, groom cries during vow and stuff, and I was just like, if you’re, this is such a bitchy thought, but I was like, if your most special day has been had by like, Hundreds of other people. How special is it?

Annie: Great point. Very philosophical of you. It’s not that bitchy. I feel like statistically some people are going to have the same wedding.

Kevin: Unfortunately, some people are basic and I don’t know if that’s on the NDIS yet, but who knows? Maybe one day.

Annie: Your sister in law was also doing makeup. for Ingrid as well. That’s another job.

Kevin: Yes. Yeah. I can’t speak to that cause I’m a man.

Annie: It was very nice. It was very classy. And I think also Ingrid wore a hat and that’s the first time I saw a bride in a really cool hat.

Kevin: Yeah. And also it was her Poppy’s hat, her, her, her grandfather who passed away. And that was kind of her way of kind of having a bit of him.

Annie: I did not know that, but I really enjoyed the look and you also had native flowers for decorations.

Kevin: Yeah, and yeah, like, you know, like I said, you know, saying before as well, it’s really important for us that we kind of, you know, like be as connected and be as here as we could with our wedding as well. Because, you know, it’s just like, I’ve heard so many horror stories of other people going to weddings. It’s not horror stories because something crazy happened. It was just a horror story because it was And I don’t want to have a boring wedding at all. I don’t want anyone at any point to be bored. I always want something interesting or something weird to be happening. So, you know, like, we had my mates who were in a hardcore punk band.

Annie: Oh, that’s right. I totally forgot. You blanked it out. You did screamo at your wedding.

Kevin: It’s not actually, it’s not, I’d say like, just like fast hardcore. Just because you’re screaming in it doesn’t mean it’s screamo. But, anyway.

Annie: I’m very uneducated. I’m basic.

Kevin: Yeah, you don’t listen to like heavy guitar music and that’s so fine. But yeah, it was fun to just have like big loud music as well. Because like, you know, like living the life that I’ve had, I’ve met A lot of people from a lot of different circles and having the wedding was like a, like a, a way for all the circles to overlap for one, for one weekend. Ingrid and I were talking about, it’s like, Oh, it’s like a convention, but like it’s us.

Annie: Yeah. An expo for you.

Kevin: Yeah.

Annie: It did run through multiple days, so it wasn’t just a one day affair.

Kevin: Yeah. It’s like a Friday, Saturday, Sunday thing. Yeah. But yeah, comedy friends, friends from way back from my punk days, uh, friends from, yeah. from like high school and all that type of stuff, you know, family as well thrown into the mix. It’s just, yeah. Lots of female friends telling me how handsome my older brothers are.

Annie: Ooh, are they single?

Kevin: Nah. Not at all. We’re very taken, man.

Annie: And so are you now, and you seem to be very happy. As a married comedian, living the life.

Kevin: Yeah, yeah, yeah. My life. Yeah.

Annie: It’s today’s episode of Wedding Disasters, breaking you out in a cold sweat. You can’t control your celibate driving in the wrong direction, but you can give yourself peace of mind with Wedsure’s Wedding Insurance. Visit Wedsure.com.au for more information. So we’re going to move on now to the story that I’ve brought along today that I want to pick your brains on. This is a real submission on the Wedsure website, so there’s quite a number of stories in this one, so these are scenarios not from the same wedding. My brother spent the entire time trying to sleep with the bride’s maid, which included my sister in law.

Kevin: Wait, wait, wait, so, okay, so the groom or the bride’s POV? I assume it’s bride and groom. Sorry, 2024. Cancel me. I assume it’s a heteronormative wedding.

Annie: Yeah. So like, the person who wrote in, pretend that’s me, um, she’s saying at the wedding, her, my brother spent the entire time trying to sleep with the bridesmaids, which included my sister in law. So the bride is not related to her.

Kevin: And he was trying to sleep with multiple. He was like, he was

Annie: like, multiple.

Kevin: This is a very, very horny brother. This is

Annie: I mean, depends on how big the wedding party is, right? What if you’ve got ten bridesmaids? You just, have a go.

Kevin: Yeah, we, yeah, like, we didn’t have like, we didn’t even have like a Bux or a Hens nights. Cause we just couldn’t be bothered, like. Yeah, like, the idea of, like, having, there wasn’t anyone hooking up with anyone, there was a lot of couples there, a lot of, like, wholesome, it was a very wholesome family wedding, there was lots of children involved, you know, I don’t think there was many, like, you know, like, juicy drama in that way in my wedding. I think this wedding sounds like it’s just a bunch of degenerates.

Annie: Okay, let’s go to another one. My mother showed up to my wedding in a white dress. I didn’t notice at first, but all of my friends sure did. Do you think that’s wrong?

Kevin: Uh, I’m not allowed to diagnose anyone with a personality disorder because I’m not qualified in that field at all. That’s all I’m gonna say.

Annie: Cause it’s just, at the same time, it is, it’s just a color. It depends on if you believe in traditions or not, that you should never wear the same color as the bride.

Kevin: Yeah, it’s just like a, it’s like a faux pas. It’s like, does your mother understand social conventions slash did she understand it and choose to violate anyway? To answer some sort of need within her, you know, like I feel like genuinely seek help.

Annie: In our culture though, you don’t wear white to weddings. That’s a funeral color.

Kevin: Yeah. Yeah. It’s also as well, like, I mean, um, Ingrid’s dress wasn’t completely white at our wedding. Not to take it back to me and Mike.

Annie: This is all about you actually, that’s why you’re the guest.

Kevin: But it’s also as well like we had the understanding was when we talked to our friends about it because our friends are all kind of like cool and chill progressive people like us, weird how that works, but we would basically say that hey like we’re not super super fussy about old rules and that type of stuff. Like what’s that saying? Um, traditions are just peer pressures from dead people.

Annie: Oh yeah, I’ve heard that. Yeah, it’s a good one to live by. Yeah. I’ve seen weddings with a gold wedding dress before. It’s really up to you how much you want to customize it. And I’m always really careful because sometimes I might choose an oat color and I go, Oh, in photos that kind of looks white. Now it looks like I’ve done the wrong thing, but I’m trying to, Respect when people are traditional that they want to have their

Kevin: my mom actually before our wedding gave us a very very stressed out phone Call she called me. It was like weeks in advance and she was like, ah Kevin like, oh, what are we gonna do? I’m just like sorry what like I was like just like vacuuming my house or like cleaning dishes or something I just got this panic call from my mom and I was like, we need to give a family 10, 000 and I’m just like What?

Annie: As a dowry of some sort?

Kevin: Yeah yeah yeah, like a dowry type of thing and I was just like, Mom, I don’t think I have 10, 000 dollars. And then my mom was like, Yeah I know, it doesn’t even make any sense because our family are much more well off than we are! And I’m just like, Wait, is this like a Chinese thing? And my mom was like, is it? And I was like, I have not heard of white people doing this.

Annie: So she didn’t really know why it was 10, 000. She just thought we

Kevin: just thought that we had to. And then she wasn’t sure why we thought like she thought we had to. And then I told her that, look, if this is a tradition that even you’re unsure of, I don’t think they’re going to even have heard of this. And also it’s. It’s fine. It’s our wedding. We make the rules of it. And my mom’s just, Oh, thank goodness. And then just hung up.

Annie: Love it. Yeah. I’ll give you a couple more. At my wedding, my mother in law got in an argument with her sister about their own parents and spent the entire wedding squabbling about it and have not spoken a single time to this day eight years later. Squabbling about what? It doesn’t say. But arguments at weddings. Have you had any? at your wedding or at other people’s weddings?

Kevin: I don’t think Ingrid and I, we don’t argue. No, no, no. We had like, we had like discussions and stuff but yeah, squabbling about what I think is a very good question as well, like they were squabbling about their parents it sounds like. Yeah, I know. It’s like, yeah, it’s very, these are, these are very heightened moments. And you know, people aren’t normally used to being hyperperceived in this way. You know, they’re not used to having like a group of hundred people all sitting in chairs, facing them.

Annie: Yeah. And also sometimes it makes me remember divorced parents because they come to the wedding and I always have to make sure to ask, you know, are they comfortable either doing something together? Because sometimes they want to have speeches. And if you have, let’s say, well, there was a, Um, a client of mine, also a friend whose parents were still going through a divorce and they didn’t want anyone to know that that was happening. Ooh, a secret divorce. Yeah, so they decided not to have any parent speeches at all, even though the groom’s side of the family would have loved to. Wow. But it meant that, because they couldn’t write a speech together, that they’d have to either do it separately, and that would be too awkward and, you know. Um, I think it would reveal that they weren’t united.

Kevin: Well, but surely there’s a way to write it in a way that you just give, you know, well enough wishes from both people that are kind of vague, but also kind of, the power of the arts, I’d say. The power of production and direction when it comes to these types of things. Like, you know, get me as script doctor on that wedding, and I would have smashed those two speeches out.

Annie: Kevin is available to punch up your divorced parents wedding scripts.

Kevin: Yes, yes.

Annie: Yes. Okay, this is one that you can relate to because I remember landing in Armidale and going, Oh crap, I forgot sunscreen. So I went to the pharmacy and you were there and I bought some really bad quality sunscreen actually. It’s very slimy and slippery. But this, person’s fifth story, that had a lot of stories, at my other sister in law’s.

Kevin: I’m so sorry, is this, all these stories are from one person? From one person! What?!

Annie: They’ve lived a life!

Kevin: Can you read back one of the other ones, please? Okay, so we’ve got a brother who wants to have sex with the bridesmaids. Yes, correct. And to be honest, who doesn’t?

Annie: There was the one about the squabbling parents.

Kevin: Yeah, so mom and her sister, yeah.

Annie: Yes, and then wearing a white dress. as well. So the family’s chaotic because the mum wore the white dress.

Kevin: I’m hearing a lot of family trauma. I’m hearing a lot of inherited bad maladaptive behavior. Sorry, my psychology degree is kicking in. Oh yeah,

Annie: I forgot. Yeah, you’re qualified

Kevin: to say these really whack things. No, I’m actually not. I’m really not.

Annie: Okay, so this one. It was the hottest day ever recorded in my province and I got a real bad sunburn on my legs that can still be seen now three years later.

Kevin: Province. Is this, where’s this person from?

Annie: I don’t know, it’s anonymous.

Kevin: Ooh, very interesting province, that makes me think outside of Australia.

Annie: Mmm, well it could be Italy, they have provinces as well, hey?

Kevin: Yeah, yeah, it gets pretty hot there. That is like a

Annie: Please get that checked out, go to a doctor. Please monitor for any changes in size or shape or texture. And make sure to be sun safe in the future. Yeah. That wasn’t very funny that, but that was very

Annie: responsible. It was responsible because there was no shade at your wedding. So people could have been very badly sunburned. Yeah. Yeah.

Kevin: But we managed to get them all inside for the, for the reception, which was, you know, air conditioned. Yep. Oh gosh, such a such a lovely time.

Annie: This is a bonus one that I don’t know if can be made in the pod, but let’s just go for it anyway. At my sister in law’s wedding, her mother gave a speech about what a slut the bride had been in the past.

Kevin: Oh, this sounds like Almost any bogan wedding like it sounds like you know like like all right You know I was like you and I once went to like a friend’s wedding and then like it was like a Greek Maltese wedding So it’s like everyone’s like, you know, they’re made for that right and then like the mother of the bride Was just running around before the bride arrived, just going, THIS BITCH, THIS BITCH WANTED ME TO DO ALL THESE THINGS And it was just like, very fun, and very like, you know, My big, fat, Greek, Maltese wedding, that type of thing. It was just so funny to just see such like, Very, very, expressively open people, Be expressively open on a day when you get to be

Annie: Because that’s when you see a lot of insight into families that you might not have even met before and you go, Oh, everyone’s family is as nuts as my family, just in different ways.

Kevin: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Everyone’s nuts either introvertedly or extrovertedly. Yeah. And then people then get all these crazy wedding stories and go on Reddit and type them out.

Annie: That’s how we get stuff like that. That one was real though.

Kevin: Really? Was she like, was this bride like also the bridesmaid at like the other aforementioned wedding?

Annie: I think it sounds like there’s a lot of weddings going on. There’s a lot of family members doing weird things.

Kevin: The WCU, the Wedding Cinematic Universe.

Annie: Yes, exactly. We’re very grateful for, uh, the person who submitted that. Uh, you can check out more of our content on socials. Also, I haven’t acknowledged the dress that I’m wearing. I think this could be a wedding dress. It is hot pink and pleated. I also think it could be somebody’s formal dress from high school or some kind of socials dress. You know, do you ever have socials in school? High school where you go to

Kevin: Yeah, yeah, like, you know, I went to, like, formal and all that. Oh, it really was, yeah, like, year 11s had their own formal when I was in high school and all that type of stuff. Yeah, it’s just Yeah, I don’t, I don’t know much about Sorry, I’m just being Oh, like, just complete, like, just sleepy uncle, like, Oh, sorry, what? What are you talking about? What? Oh, women’s stuff? Uh, I guess?

Annie: Okay, you just chewed out. Yeah, I mean, underage parties, but ones that didn’t have alcohol or drugs because the school organized it.

Kevin: Oh, yeah, like, year 6 formal and stuff like that. Yeah, I see.

The producers making you wear themed dresses for this series? I’m wearing just what I normally wear, I’m just wearing Kmart clothes.

Annie: Oh yeah, I mean, there was a suit there for you, did you not see? You could have been wearing a top hat and tux, but clearly you missed the I missed a memo. Sorry. I’m ADHD. Anyway, Wyn, I am so glad to check in with you. I feel like a teacher who’s gone. How are you now? Where are you at? After all these years.

Kevin: Still married, not divorced. That is good. My in laws kept, like, they really hated this bit that I kept doing where I kept referring to the wedding as my first wedding.

Annie: Yeah, like my first wife is what you, I’m just wanting to say. No, I am so pleased for you and Ingrid, and thank you so much for joining me. Hopefully Hopefully we check in again, who knows, in 10 years time and we’ll see where you’re at.

Kevin: For my second wedding, woo! Twist, I’m remarrying Ingrid after we have a messy but sexy divorce.

Annie: I love that, you’ve got your whole story planned out.

Kevin: Branding is so important these days. Thank you so much Annie for being my actual wedding celebrant.

Annie: Thank you so much for joining me on Wedding Disasters presented by Wedsure.com.au Wedding Insurance. I’ve been your host, Annie Louie. Please be sure to subscribe to the podcast and jump onto the Wedsure socials for the latest and visit Wedsure. com. au for your wedding insurance coverage.